Dealing with a sore winner isn’t always easy, especially in the business world. If your boss or team leader is a sore winner, you may find yourself uncomfortable and discouraged at times. It’s hard to be a productive, motivated team player when your leader snaps up all the credit, gloats about it, and leaves you and your colleagues without any acknowledgement or praise.

Most of the time, your hands feel tied when dealing with a DUD. If you react in haste to the sore winner’s blatant behaviors, you’re cutting off your own neck. After all, he has the power to fire you or, at the very least, make your life miserable. If the sore winner is a colleague, not a boss, it can be equally as disheartening. You don’t want to play the game of a DUD, constantly trying to position yourself ahead of others or calling out the mistakes of those you work with. If you publicly “out” the sore winner, you look like the bad guy. So, what can you do?

Here are a few strategies for dealing with a sore winner:

• Stay Positive: Don’t let a sore winner break your spirit. Stay positive, even in the face of negative circumstances. Realize that the DUD’s shortcomings are her own, even if you fall victim to them from time to time. Rise above the situation by keeping the focus on team victories as well as your own personal accomplishments, whether or not you receive the “credit.” With a positive attitude, you can feel like a winner even when being led by a loser.
• Be a Gracious Winner: As I’ve often said, the best way to deal with–or defeat–a DUD leader is by being a WOW. When dealing with a sore winner, you’ll outshine his arrogant, self-serving display by being a gracious winner. If given the chance to throw him under the bus, don’t. As much as you may want to, never stoop to his level. Keep your personal integrity and humility in tact, and you will, in the long run, come out on top.
• Pick your Moments: You don’t always have to sit back and internally roll your eyes when a sore winner steps up to soak up the limelight. Pick your moments to take an effective, yet understated stand by spreading the praise around. For example, during a team or company meeting, when a success is being discussed, and the sore winner begins to take all the credit, carefully and strategically make your move. But proceed with caution. Never say, “Well, I was the one who…” That’s a sure-fire way to stir the pot. Plus, it only makes you look bad in the process. Instead, shine the light on someone else in the team. Try something like, “You certainly did an outstanding job of leading us. But I also wanted to congratulate so-and-so for taking the initiative to XYZ.”
• Be Patient: A sore winner may seem to be getting ahead and gaining favor based on the efforts and accomplishments of others, but time will eventually right the wrong. The DUD qualities of your boss or team leader will not go unnoticed forever. Chances are, if you and your colleagues recognize her as a repetitive sore winner, so do others–even those who appear to issue the DUD accolades and rewards. A sore winner is one of the worst kinds of losers. Be patient…she will eventually lose.
• Change Teams: If nothing else seems to help, start looking elsewhere. Find out if it’s possible to change departments or become part of another team within your current company. If not, consider looking for another job. The decision to leave should not be made quickly or lightly. It’s time to go if you’ve exhausted all other strategies, and still find that working for a sore winner is leading to a downward spiral in your performance and attitude.

When your boss or co-worker is a sore winner, it can make for a difficult, stressful, and unrewarding workplace. The key is to be a WOW even under the leadership of a DUD. And while that may be tricky, and even frustrating at times, keeping your integrity and positivity in tact will pay off in the long run. A sore winner is not just a bad winner, he’s a bad loser and, above all, a bad leader. Choose to be a WOW by learning to shine even in the shadow of a sore winner.

–Sheri Staak